#but my favorite character for the longest of time was Mangle

[transingthoseformers]

How about 4 and 23?

Honestly? Skystar. It's a fine ship... I'm just not particularly invested.

Oh my favorite characters and ships have definitely changed over time, whether it's from fandom to fandom or just in this fandom. I really did go from ten to a thousand in like a fucking month when it came to liking Megatron.

[wattpadscapcons]

Old Fan - FNAF 1/2? Foxy

omg I hate how a single prompt got me to write an entire fic but mmmmmm I have more experience in writing nowwwww Also NO, this does NOT mean that I willing to write for the cast again per request. I am simply letting out some of my creative liberties. Damn I started this like a year ago....yikes.

==============

Ten years ago, you were a spunky, somewhat reckless eleven year old. You didn't have to think about bills, work, or school outside of finishing what little obligations you had before you could numb your mind watching TV and playing games.

You had all the time in the world. When you were invited to a party, you would go. Incidentally, that would cause you to meet someone who would end up plaguing the back of your mind for ten years.

"Alright kids, ye settle down!"

=

You knew the "pirate accent" he was using was fake but it was humorous and charming to many of the girls in your class at the time. It didn't take long to form a liking to the character he played extremely quickly, finding comfort in the hot-headed pirate. Fazbear's Pizzeria surely had it made, the games, the sweet entertainers, and what your friends called an "indoor play place".

You collected the plush dolls of the beloved cast, though from the animated cartoon Fazbears had created to entice children to get sucked in. Seeing the animal counterpart of Foxy dressed up as a little pirate was enough to make you ecstatic.

=======

The time you went to show him the doll, he gave you an equally excited look.

"Aye will you look at this, is this me?"

"Yeah."

"I appreciate knowing that I'm your favorite lass."

You could still remember how embarrassing it felt when he said that. In front of your friends, god they didn't live that one down until for the longest time. You were more or less to stunned to tell him that the others wouldn't fit in your bag, the moment had already passed and he was back to playing games with the rest of the patrons.

=========

That party was the last time you saw him in person, at least until now of course. You weren't allowed to go back after a few "incidences" occurred as your parent's put it. You would learn later on that people had supposedly gone missing in that restaurant. You were skeptical of the rumors at best. You never had any bad experiences there, outside of seeing the staff's punching bag, "Mangle" get bullied by the older kids that were often dragged along for their younger sibling's birthdays. Any issues you saw with the rest of the cast never really clicked until you hit high school.

= You couldn't believe you were going back to that restaurant to see if the Foxy you knew as a kid was still working there. You knew he wasn't the mascot, but he was still fairly important in keeping kids in line and happy.

-

To his coworkers, Foxy was just another bordering-washed-out child entertainer. To you though, you could only see the remaining glimmer of spark left in his eyes. He while seemingly tired, still had the drive to keep moving unlike the rest of the "cast" as Fazbear Entertainment always put it.

He's out on his break.

This is probably not the smartest move you've made before. The closer you got to your childhood idol, the more you could feel yourself slowly losing your nerve to talk to him. You had several thoughts go through your mind, a lot of "what if's" that only stopped the second he locked eyes with you.

"Can I help you?" “Um. I'm sorry but, are you Foxy?” “Yeah, you got the right pirate. Who's asking?”  “My name’s Y/N, I’ve been a really big fan of you since I was little.”  “Since you were little you say, I haven’t got that old have I?” 

=

The man in front of you let out a sad laugh at the thought. He'd been working in the same spot for the prime of his youth, to think some kid who saw him in his early twenties would want to talk to him now was a little..... odd. Sure you may just be visiting places from your childhood and meeting your idols, maybe grabbing a few pictures before you leave.

To which you quickly corrected him. “No, no! I was just wanting to thank you.” 

“Thank me? You got nothing to thank me for.”  “That's not exactly true...You really made my childhood one I'm happy to remember. You’re the best!” 

=

You could tell that made him happier than he cared to show. Poor guy hasn't had many people say stuff like that to him in years after all. More or less your sudden appearance was comforting, like he hadn't spent the last 20 years of his life doing this job just as a way to pay the bills that would constantly stack up.

“You flatter me kid. Care to stick around to humor this old pirate? I don’t have too many fans anymore.” You didn't miss the way his dipped into a more depressed tone. Still you had a feeling that you staying at his workplace distracting him would be more detrimental to his job than helpful. It seemed rather....off-putting as well.

The man had hardly spent what...ten minutes talking to you, and he already is asking you to spend time with him? Either the man was desperate for human interaction outside of his workplace, or he had some type of ulterior motive here. "I don't want to bother you while you're working." "It's no bother. My shift ends in about two hours. If you can stand the kids and my coworkers for that long." You have no idea why you stayed, with every red flag you saw you should have turned around, got into your car, and left by now. You still chose to believe that he has no alternative motives for this other than to reminisce and chat. At least that's what you told yourself, repeatedly, for two hours as you watched this grown man dressed as a fox pirate play with kids.

What could go wrong?

=

Finally I came back and finished this damn thing... It's been sitting in my drafts for months! I just wanted to get this out of the way since it's been bugging me for the longest time. I hope you enjoyed it! If I choose to do original Chica or any of the other's stories, I'll do them on my alt, which is really unlikely since I'm no longer in this fandom.

But hey, at least you got the two foxes right?

1/20/23

[bluejayblueskies]

28, 24 and 23 for the fanfic ask!!

fanfic end-of-year asks

23 - fics you wanted to write but didn’t

i have an idea for a longform fic that i'm going to start next year once whisky's done that's basically 'what if john got stuck in a timeloop in episode 20 that resets every time arthur dies to the moment just before the king appears?' it involves a lot of whump and angst and john feelings, and i am so very excited to jump into writing it once whisky is done. here's a little snippet (cw for major character death):

John doesn’t like to think back on what it was like, to hear Arthur’s wails cut off as his life drained out of him through the gash John had rent with his own hand.

(He doesn’t like to remember how Arthur’s hand, broken and mangled, had found his and squeezed with all the strength it still retained, like John was the one who needed comfort while Arthur died for the thirty-seventh time. And all John could do was fucking watch and wait for it to begin again.)

24 - favorite fic you read this year

i listed (one of) my favorites in a previous post, so here's another one: @organchordsandlightning's fantastic three-fic 'what if john got his own body during coda?' lighthouse trilogy that has made me have so many feelings about parker yang and has made me want to throttle kayne more than i normally do. everyone should read it, it's fantastic <3

28 - longest fic you read this year

oh man, how do i track this 😅 it's gotta be an OFMD fic because i went through a phase when i read *so many* of them. if i had to guess, i'd say hell or high water by mottlemoth, which i think is on hiatus but is an *excellent* OFMD fic if you're interested. it's almost 275k words at the moment!

[elfyourmother]

so my journey to FFXIV.

i’m so damn old and seasoned with MMOs i literally was playing their free, text-based fan homebrewed precursors on fucking telnet as a kid in the pre-web internet era so I was never scared of them, I just avoided them for the longest out of saltiness that all of my MUD and MUSH friends were quitting our games for them and the MU* scene was slowly dying because of it (Everquest and Ultima Online were the culprits when they were new). It took me a weirdly long time to get into them, given the circles I ran in.

but I played a bunch of them, UO, City of Heroes/Villains, etc. I got FFXI around the time Wings of the Goddess came out because my gf at the time played it heavily, and I decided to give it a shot because of her and wanting to see a Final Fantasy take on the genre, even though up to that point I was one of those “I don’t count the MMO as a real Final Fantasy game” FF fans. Unfortunately I ended up hating it because it was so intensely unfriendly to newbies and solo players, it was a horrible grindfest where just traveling somewhere took insane amounts of real world time, plus you leave town and get killed by level 4 rabbits and leveling involved mindless grinding in parties, meanwhile my gf’s linkshell (XI version of a Free Company) was horribly cliquish and basically ignored me unless she was logged on. WoW I had avoided because I was a diehard Warcraft RTS fan terrified of what an MMO would do to my favorite strategy games (LMAO oh my god the hilarity in hindsight), but I finally quit XI and jumped to WoW because my bf at the time finally talked me into it when Burning Crusade came out. Now BC’s story essentially mangled my favorite characters from Warcraft 3 beyond all recognition but mechanically the game was really fun to play even if my bf was a dick and made me play Alliance despite me wanting to be Horde really badly, I had a great guild, and so I just ignored the story bits I hated and wrote fix it fic. Wrath was absolutely fantastic as an Arthas stan but unfortunately the game dropped off a cliff after that and never recovered, the gameplay started getting terrible to the point it couldn’t make up for the lackluster and bad story decisions and continued derailment of my faves, the playerbase got even worse, and the devs/writers were even worse than the fans.

probably the nail in the coffin was cross server zones destroying any semblance of server culture. Proudmoore was my home server and it was an oasis away from the toxic shit the WoW community was infamous for, because the players fought hard to make it a haven for LGBT players (we had a massive pride parade every year in game, Horde + Alliance together, with zero trolling). It had a very heavy international contingent because before Blizzard opened Oceanic servers, all the Aussies and Kiwis decided to make it their home. But it was a haven because we policed ourselves. The gays ran that fucking server and anyone coming to start shit got run out of town on a rail. Even our trade chat trolls didn’t tolerate bigotry lol. People learned real quick that troublemakers weren’t wanted, they couldn’t even switch factions to run because we all exchanged notes. People stood up for each other and even though it wasn’t perfect by any means it was like an entirely different game than on other servers. It was very XIV-esque in that respect.

My little guild was run by a lesbian couple and was 90% queer/trans and a handful of cool allies and half of us were some kinda poc, we had people literally from all over the world including a really sweet Japanese girl I used to run dungeons with in the middle of the night when I had insomnia and no one else was on bc of the time difference lol. But this great server community of that got fucked up when Blizzard instituted cross realm zones, trying to make the world seem more active, when all it did was destroy our server community with an influx of the toxic people in our battlegroup (like a data center) that we came to Proudmoore to avoid. trade chat became a cesspool like it was on every other server. Slurs became a way of life when they never had before. Like every day I was reporting people for harassment, specifically homophobia and racism. One of my 2 mains was a male Blood Elf Paladin and towards the end of my regular WoW playing, almost every god damn day I would log on to tank daily heroics with him I got called the F slur. I was constantly reporting Hunters with gorilla pets named after Black people (usually Obama or Oprah). so my little bubble was gone and the story and the game hit new lows and i was done.

the irony of me quitting WoW for another Final Fantasy MMO is not lost on me either. the funny thing is I totally ignored XIV at launch because I had such a wretched experience with XI and saw the races all being the XI ones just with different names and dismissed teh whole thing as Vana’diel 2.0 and figured it would be just as bad, then heard the reports of how atrocious 1.0 was and felt vindicated in ignoring it. I was really disillusioned with WoW by then, but was kinda feeling stuck in sunk cost fallacies, still subbed out of nostalgia and doing stuff with Dandy once in a while. “WoW sucks but the only thing that would ever make me leave it for good is an Ivalice MMO” were my exact words, ask Dandy lmao

meanwhile I’d picked up Final Fantasy Record Keeper on mobile, and started posting in the Reddit sub for it, and when there was an XIV collab to celebrate Heavensward’s release that added Alphinaud and Minfilia as units along with some really powerful gear for them,I pulled on the banner even though I knew dick all about XIV just for the OP loot and ended up with a completely decked out Alphinaud. They didn’t do XIV events too often for whatever reason in FFRK but hilariously I somehow always ended up with all the best loot for XIV characters and so ended up using those units a lot--Y’shtola was my best healer for a long time--and every time there was an event somebody would make lore threads on the sub explaining different things and raving about how amazing it got after the revamp and HW. it also helped that the music on every FFXIV event slapped so hard. so I got really curious and when the game went on Playstation Store holiday sale one year I picked it up finally, mainly to find out what the deal was with this Alphinaud kid. the rest is history.

the ironic thing is FFXIV has the total opposite thing from WoW where a single player game franchise I loved was totally ruined by an MMORPG version of it. WoW destroyed the Warcraft RTS series and dragged its bloody corpse through the streets but FFXIV saved Final Fantasy to me, no joke. i was absolutely done with FF after XIII was so wretched, i never even got the sequels and ignored XV on principle (tfoh with no female characters), and then DA:O had come out to take my gaming attention. but years later with Bioware shitting the bed so hard, and WoW having been dead to me for ages, I was really ripe to “come home” to FF tbh. so in hindsight it really shouldn’t be a surprise it got me by the tits so bad. it’s the only example I can think of where an MMO installment in a franchise is better than the most recent single player ones

even my least favorite XIV story arc (Stormblood) was light years more enjoyable than XIII and I think we all about the mess that was XV. it says something to me that they gave Yoshi-P the keys to XVI. Personally I think Ishikawa should just be put in charge of writing all Final Fantasy everything until she gets tired, if it wouldn’t burn her out

[thorne93]

Unforeseen Chasm (Part 37)

Prompt: Two sisters fall for men that are absolute enemies. The love they have could tear all of them apart, or it could bring them together.

Word Count:2041

Warnings: Language, fighting, sad moment, angst

Song for this part: Better- Betty Who

Note: This is by far the longest thing I’ve ever written (including my novels). It’s a collaboration with the amazing @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo​​. It started as a funny “What if…?” and it evolved and got huge. This took two years to write. We are both proud and happy and we hope you enjoy it. It follows from Thor 1 to Endgame in the MCU. Some of the timelines may be off in order to fit certain people, and some characters may show up earlier or in different ways than they have in the movie. But for the most part, it follows the MCU. It also has a bit of crossover with some other Marvel characters throughout the story.

Masterlist for Unforeseen Chasm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As soon as Shannon’s parents left, you and Shannon head to the apartment. 

Once you’re there, memory lane hit you like a semi-truck. You took a look around the apartment you two purchased what seems like lifetimes ago. Your eyes traveled over pictures of you two graduating, the first day Shannon took a job with Stark, your first patent in physics… Pictures and paintings you two had bought together, that super comfy blanket you found at the mall… Every little item was a new memory. 

“Wow. I forgot just how good we were at decorating,” you said in a sort of amused, awe inspired tone. 

“Yeah, with your color palette and my great knack for finding unique items, this place really looked great,” she agreed. 

Next, you wanted to see your bedroom. You wondered if it would be exactly as you remembered it.

When you opened the door, you were stunned to find it was. All the brainwashing and time away couldn’t even change that. The black and purple comforter was still on your bed. Your walls were covered with your favorite movie posters and whiteboards. The dresser was covered in papers and pictures of years past. 

“I had your bed sheets washed periodically,” Shannon suddenly said from behind you. You turned to face her.

“Ah, yeah, thank you.” You tucked your hair behind your ear and looked around. You went to your closet, surprised at how many bright colors were in there. Now, you mainly opted for black, red, green, and purple. “I don’t even know what to take… Actually…” an idea struck in your mind. “Shannon, you said that I could have this apartment, right?” 

“Of course, Y/N. There’s not much else I can do with it. I mean this is our home.” She waved her hands around the place. “I think it’d be more suited if you had it, it’s all paid off so no need to worry about much there.” She smiled knowing her friend would stay close to her even if it wasn’t a floor away. 

You chewed your lip, hoping this didn’t sound awful. “Well… instead of me taking stuff back to the cell -- because I’d really like to stay out of it, and making it feel like home feels awful -- what if… well what if you took some of your stuff back to the tower, with Tony? I mean, you’re engaged now, and Loki and I would like a place all to our own. I’m sure he’d want to go get some things… What do you think? I mean, I don’t wanna sound like I’m kicking you and your stuff out…” 

“Um… yeah sure I can probably get Stevie to help me pack my things and have it out in a few days,” she said trying not to sound hurt. “Well I guess I leave you to it then, I’ll be in my old room collecting my things.” 

Shannon walked out of the room slumping her shoulders a bit. She knew it was childish to feel hurt because she’s not living with her bestie/sister. But it hurt knowing she no longer had a place in their home. She entered her room and was flooded with emotions and memories of when it had been just the two of them here. Shooting a quick text to Steve, she got to work placing her things in her suitcases.  

Seeing your best friend this hurt made you feel worse than when you two were physically fighting in New York. You sighed and went into her room and sat on her bed.

“You know… you don’t have to just rip all your stuff out of here,” you said, looking up at her. You took the sweater she had in her hands from her gently. “What if… we did this? Loki and I will share a bedroom, we don’t need the second. You’re welcome to stay here any time, as long as you call ahead? Just to make sure you know… it’s a good time? This was your home for years, and I don’t want you to feel like I’m booting you out.” You reached over and gripped her hand, smiling up at her. 

Shannon had been concentrating on packing so she wouldn't let the little tear slip out. She looked up at the ceiling and then at you. “It’s okay, Y/N. I get it, you want a place to create new memories with Loki.” She stopped packing and sat down next to you. “I shouldn’t have assumed everything would be like before everything happened.” She went on to say how she understands that you’re both different people and that’s fine because you two are adults. 

The rest of the day was just you two talking and remembering things that were once forgotten and after eating dinner together and watching some movies like old times, Shannon excused herself for a moment.  She headed to her room and made a call to the tower.

“Hey babe, I’m still at the apartment with Y/N. I just wanted to let you know that we’ll be home soon and that she’s decided that she would like to live here in the apartment with Loki once he gets out too.”

“You had me worried for a moment. I thought you were going to say that you two will be staying the night there.” 

“And what if we had decided that huh? We’re adults plus I figured she wouldn’t want to sleep away from him.” She walked around looking at all the things she had left in her room. “I was wondering if you could have someone come help her redecorate the place to their liking?”

There was silence on the line. “If that’s what you really want then sure we can have that done once he gets out of the cell too.”

“I’ll see you at home soon enough.”

“See you here.”

With that Shannon went back to the living room. And they finished watching the last movie they had picked. 

You turned your head to Shannon lazily on the couch as the movie started to end. It was one both  of you had seen at least twenty times. “This has been the best possible day for me being released.”

“Yeah?” Shannon asked, happy to hear that.

“Of course. I became your maid of honor, we went wedding dress shopping, we went out to that great lunch spot, I got to see Lucky, and Diane and Tom… You and I got to spend the whole day together…” 

“Yeah, yeah it was nice, wasn’t it?” 

“Mhm. And I’m sorry about the whole apartment thing,” you apologized again. “It’s just…”

Shannon held up her hand. “I get it. You and Loki have never been alone. This is a place for you to start your lives together. Tony and I have the whole tower, and I have my old floor. If you and I need time away together, we can do it on my old floor.”

“You’re sure?” you asked, still worried you’d hurt her feelings.

“I’m positive, hun.”

At that, you smiled. As soon as the movie ended, the two of you picked up all the food and plates you’d accumulated during the day and cleaned the apartment. 

“Well, I better get back to Loki before he thinks I’ve abandoned him.” 

She laughed. “No, we wouldn’t want that.” 

--------------

Back at the tower, you and Shannon parted ways, bidding each other goodnight while she went upstairs to Tony and you ventured downstairs to Loki. 

As soon as your eyes landed on him, your chest filled with warmth, then a bit of chagrin when you remembered where you two were. You walked up to the cell door, put your hand on the scanner, and entered. 

“Hi, darling,” you greeted as you walked into the living room. It was odd, to say the least, having the freedom to come or go as you please in this place. “Happy to see me back?”

“I am,” he admitted to you. “How was your day out?” he asked, putting his book down.

“It was… a little overwhelming, but overall it was great.”

“Did they give you any stipulations or anything like that?” 

You got up and headed to the kitchen, readying to make some coffee for yourself. “Uh, actually, yeah. I have a parole officer. I have to report to him a few times a week, work with him… you know…” you said, dancing around the topic. 

“That sounds stressful.”

“Actually, my parole officer couldn’t be more laid back,” you assured. 

“Oh? Is that so? Well that’s good then.”

“He can have a bit of a temper,” you added with a bit of a smirk. 

“Well just stay on the right side of that,” he encouraged as he reached around you to grab a mug and pour himself some coffee. 

“Yeah, I think I can. We’ll be working in his lab. He wants me for my physics brain so…”

“Oh, he’s a scientist? I thought on Midgard they had officers dedicated to this sort of thing?” 

You slowly nodded. “Well.. Yeah, they do. But I’m sort of a special case. A normal cop can’t exactly control me if I get out of hand so--”

“Is your parole officer Bruce Banner?” he asked point blank suddenly, cutting you off.

Shit.

You pressed your lips into a thin line and that was all the answer he needed. A man as clever and witty as Loki would of course see through the thin veil of truth you’d weaved.

“Yes… he is but--”

“Are you serious? They stuck you with that animal?” 

“Bruce is not an animal,” you calmly retorted.

“I beg to differ, or do you not remember the broken ribs and mangled face I acquired last time we met?” he demanded.

“I do, but… my love, we kind of… we brought that on ourselves, did we not?” 

“I want you to demand someone else,” he ordered. “I don’t want you working with him.”

You stared at him in disbelief. “Loki, I’m not going to do that. Bruce is highly respected in my field and if this goes well, he could really get me back in. A foot in the door doesn’t even begin to explain just how much working with him would fatten my resume. I could work for virtually any company.”

“I don’t care. You would be willing to work with the man who nearly killed me? Your career means more than my life?” 

A bitch face clouded your expression. “Now, Loki, that isn’t fair. I’m not choosing one or the other. As long as you don’t piss him off, he won’t do it again.”

“Ah, right, don’t raise his blood pressure or we could all die. It’s amazing to me how I’m the one in a cell when he’s the one that can’t be around loud noises or he could kill hundreds of people because he got shocked.” 

“He can’t help turning into a monster but--”

Loki stared at you. “But what, darling? Go ahead and finish that sentence. Let me guess: but I can? Is that where you were going with that?” 

You stared at him, your face even. “No,” was all you said to him. 

“This is amazing. You’re out of this cell for less than twenty-four hours and you’ve already turned on me.”

“Turned on you? I came back to you. I came back to this cell, which I fucking hate by the way, just to be with you, to spend the night with you.”

“Well who asked you to do that?” he asked with a cold smile. “Please, don’t let me burden you,” he coldly replied before walking into the bedroom and slamming the door behind him. 

On that note, you let out a huge sigh. Well, what to do now… 

You went into the office and tapped on the tablet, pulling up your only contact and calling it. After three rings she picked up. 

“Hey,” you greeted, not hiding your sadness.

“Hey, hun. What’s up?”

“Can I come up?” 

“Sure thing… I’ll meet you on my old floor, yeah?”

You nodded and ended the video call. Leaving the cell for the second time today, but no intention of returning in your mind this time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag List: @essie1876​ @magpiegirl80​ @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked​ @iamwarrenspeace​ @marvel-imagines-yes-please​ @superwholocked527 @missinstantgratification​ @thejemersoninferno​ @rda1989​ @munlis​ @thefridgeismybestie​​ @bubblyanarocks3​​ @igiveupicantthinkofausername​​ @kaliforniacoastalteens​ @feelmyroarrrr​​ @kaeling @friendlyneighbourhoodweirdo​​ @damalseer​​ @heyitscam99​​ @yknott81​​ @sorryimacrapwriter​​ @glitterquadricorn​​ @xxqueenofisolationxx @little-dis-kaalista-pythonissama @bittersweetunicorm​​ @alyssaj23​​ @sea040561​​ @princess76179​​ @thisismysecrethappyplace​​ @sarahp879​​ @malfoysqueen14​​ @ellallheart​​ @breezy1415​​ @marvelmayo​​ @random-fluffy-pink-unicorn @cocosierra94 @hardcollectionworldtrash @capsmuscles @marvelloushamilton @paintballkid711​

Loki: @lostinspace33​​ @ultrarebelheart​​ @lenawiinchester​​ @esoltis280​​ @tngrayson​​ @wangdeasang​​ @harrymewmew @jayfantasyatyourservice​​

UC: @lokis-high-priestess​

@pandacookieowo​

[cannibal-wings]

I have to ask you this, I know you responded in dm, but your thoughts are amazing 2. Favorite moment in each of the games? 20. Any game theories? 21. Who is the most villainous character overall? 43. What do you think was the scariest part of Outlast 2?

2. Favorite moment in each of the games?For Outlast this is tough because I like a lot of the moments in that game, both scene wise and subtle environment wise. I think I’m going to have to go with the Pyro Variant’s little speech and the note Miles writes regarding it.

Outlast tries very hard to make sure that you understand that the Variants are not the villains here. The Variants are the victims, and they should not be blamed for this. Miles, for all his smartass remarks, shows genuine sympathy for the Variants. He can see through this bullshit, he knows what’s up. (I’ll list more fave moments if people want)

For Whistleblower this is really easy. Hands down my favorite moment in the whole game is when you’re backtracking through the Male Ward into the Administration Block, and you’re like “oh shit, oh shit, I know this wallpaper, I know where I am!” And you turn the corner and BAM! There’s the chapel! On fire! And it all clicks. The morning sun is rising. The chapel is on fire. Miles has just become the Walrider in the basement labs. It’s such a cool moment and I always stand and watch the chapel burn for a bit each time I hit that section.

For Outlast 2………… ugh I guess the part where it’s raining blood is pretty cool. No, you know what, I’ll say ONE nice thing about Outlast 2. The transitions between reality and your mind are really, really well done. Each one was creative and they are def my favorite part of the game.

21. Who is the most villainous character overall? 

Capitalism. No, for real. In all of Outlast and Whistleblower the clear theme here is that Murkoff are the bad guys and it’s all about money and profit.

This game is one of the rare occasions where the setting is purposeful and not trying to do the whole “mentally ill people are scary because they’re crazy”. When the Pyro Variant says “Because who cares about a few forgotten lunatics?” he’s right. Murkoff got away with this for so long because they were specifically targeting those who wouldn’t be missed. Those labeled “criminally insane” those who were desperate enough to volunteer for “charity” care. The people without family or the people without anyone fighting for their rights. So the most villainous character isn’t Blaire, or Trager or even Helen. It’s Murkoff and the system that let them do this for years.

20. Any game theories? 

Oh boy do I got theories. Let’s stick to two of my favorites. The first one is based on nothing but headcanon, but it’s that the Twins meant you no harm at all in the game and were just there to mess with you. I know technically in the game if you get too close to either of them they’re a one hit instant kill. Game mechanics wise, they have to be dangerous or else you wouldn’t be afraid of them. But, lore wise? I honestly think they’re just there to make sure that Miles gets to where Father Martin needs him to go. Each time the Twins show up its directly after Father Martin tells you to go somewhere or get something. And since they mention him by name, “Who’s this?” “Father Martin’s man?” and they’re standing outside the chapel while Father Martin sacrifices himself to the Walrider, it’s safe to assume they’re followers of the Gospel of the Sand. So my favorite pet theory is that Father Martin told them to follow you and make sure you got from Point A to Point B without getting too mangled up. They just also decided to fuck with you by talking about eating you. Charming gents really.

My longest running theory, the one I’ve had since finishing Whistleblower and was ready to stake money on being the plot of Outlast 2 was that Project Walrider was old news and Murkoff had already moved on to something bigger and better. That Project Walrider is obsolete and they were just piggybacking off of Wernicke’s research to boost their own project. That project being the “Blind Dreamers” all based off of the last two notes in the game: Beyond Hope and The Three Blind Dreamers 

I was so sure that this was going to be the baseline plot of Outlast 2. It seemed so obvious. Helen talks about hoping that the new facility is properly shielded against the Engine so she can see the progress firsthand, the fact that Wernicke was kept in the dark about it, and that the security access codes for Project Walrider would not gain your clearance to this new project. It was kept hidden from most of the staff, even those who worked with Project Walrider… The way Helen talks about Project Walrider as if it was a pathetic little science experiment… who knows? It very might be. This is the theory I hinged most of the plot of my fic Survivors on. And its still my favorite post game topic to discuss.

43. What do you think was the scariest part of Outlast 2?

Reaching the end and realizing you wasted six hours of your life.

Serious Answer: the first thirty mins to an hour of the game were the scariest, and most tense I have ever been while playing a game.

[botslayer]

Top Ten games of the 2010′s

This trend seems to be doing the rounds at the moment and seeing as I’ve been gaming for about as long as I can remember, It just feels right. So, let’s get into it. But first, worth saying: These aren't really in any specific order, it's just the games I've personally had the most fun with overall, but it's pretty hard to decide what the hard numbers on things you enjoy for different reasons are if that makes any sense. 10. The 2010's weren't exactly the best time for anyone, I think. For me they were a slog of finding myself and learning things I wish I didn't. Amid all those things I wanted some levity. The world needs something and stupid. We got a lot of it ion 2013 but I feel like we could have used it scattered around a bit more. In that spirit, allow me to show you one hell of a pick me up:

Saints Row 4

Saints Row 4 does not give a fuck. It is aggressively demonstrating that the entire time you play. It doesn't care in the slightest what you think or why, It just wants to show you cool, if juvenile, and interesting, if weird shit. It's the finer points of Ratchet and Clank's arsenal, SR3's humor, And superpowers that genuinely put Prototype and Infamous in a blender and tell you to go ape shit with them. The soundtrack isn't top shelf, it's the roof of the building the shelf is in. Saints Row Two had a better story overall but SR Four's was just plain fun and a solid enough story to still be invested.

The DLC was just as irreverent and madcap, Featuring everything from an evil Santa Clause to evil Gimps on Game of thrones chairs made of dildos Or Tropey-ass costumes and weapon reskins that I'd be genuinely surprised the game dev didn't get sued over. It has earned its place in my top 10 and I will die by that decision.

9.

2016 saw the advent of a new genre. They blended TF2 and MOBAs, and we got hero shooters in their first AAA forms, Overwatch and Battleborn. But neither of these games is on this list, much as I liked them. Partly because the whole time, I kept thinking of one simple question: "Why do I keep thinking of...?"

Anarchy Reigns

Anarchy Reigns is my favorite Platinum game. Full Stop. The Story mode is interesting and has genuinely good character moments, the characters themselves are completely mental, ranging from a mercenary with a bionic cat leg that secretly has a gun built into it to a giant cyborg bull-man with a jet-powered hammer. The soundtrack is mostly angry hip-hop, making every song a banger and fittingly speedy for things like random bombing runs from jet fighters that come from absolutely nowhere.

There are giant monsters, cars with mounted flame throwers, giant robots, and the online is still pretty sweet because even when abandoned, loading it up with bots still rules. I regularly have more fun with this than I ever did with Overwatch, and I don't care how insane that sounds.

8.

Some games want to make you feel something and fail. Some games make you feel some things accidentally, for example, a desperate need to laugh. This game made me feel like a human blender. Like a Chthonic god of mangled flesh and raw destructive power. Nyarlathotep ain't got nothing on me. I speak, of course, of...

[Prototype] 2

There's no end to the absolute destruction you feel like you're causing in this game. It feels more fluid than the first, the main character is a pinch more relatable, and all the body horror, superpowers, zombie hordes, and big old monsters make for some of the most memorable and fun moments and fights in gaming. The DLC is also pretty solid, adding new fun side challenges, and new powers and weapons that elevate you from "Flesh god" to "Screw physics, I made them" Omnipotent. Best god/monster simulation of all time.

7.

Sometimes some games are at an honest tie in your mind. Be it that you like them for essentially the same reasons, or for completely different reasons, but the overall total joy or entertainment they bring is roughly equivalent. Here, we have a case of the former:

Furi/Cuphead

Both games have a tight focus on giving players a unique, boss-centric challenge, both have interesting, somewhat minimal narratives, and both are absolute eye candy.

Furi has a more "Samurai Jack" Quality to me. A complete badass on a relatively simple quest with a somewhat minimalistic art style learning some things as he goes.

Cuphead on the other hand, nails that rubber hose animation style, and the fun levity of such animations while still making the player's ability to interact with the world damn impactful and fun.

They share a spot in my soul, games I love everything about but will never be able to finish. Hats off to both dev teams.

6.

Now here we have another tie. Mostly because the games are so close together, they need to be evaluated more or less as one product IMO, not enough changed for me to consider them separate games, fortunately, that is the furthest thing from an insult it can be in this situation. I present to you, my next pick(s).

Costume Quest 1/2

Now, This might seem pretty random considering my other picks, but honestly, I love Halloween, I love creative madness, I love subversion, I love good characters, and I love cool action, these games have all these things by the bucketload.

The first game is a wild ride through Halloween in multiple very lively locations and the second, slightly confusing as it is, is pretty awesome for the things it introduces, including time travel. Other elements, like the battle stamps, the truly epic forms of everything in the fights, The ability to customize your costumes, etc. they blur together in a pretty big way, but again, there's not a thing wrong with that when both games rock like crystal candy. 

5.

Now, if you hadn't noticed, all of the games on this list have had some hard action at their core, and while I don't HATE calmer games, a lot of the time, so many are kinda dull to me in that with the exception of easter eggs of some sort, most farming sims, for example, just have you doing normal farm stuff with very few twists, may as well start a real farm in that case. My most chill entry is a game that tosses that to one side, asks you to grab a suck cannon, and start harvesting gelatinous monster poop.

Slime Rancher

While you don't spend a lot of time actually interacting with other characters, they just talk at you, the story of the game is pretty effective, the player character of Beatrix has left Earth for a simpler life of Slime Ranching, which entails the raising of alien crops, delightfully derpy and colorful chickens, and going all around in an attempt to farm new breeds of slime for their genetic material to sell off or trade-in for the creation of gadgets while being surrounded by a cast of interesting characters. It's all very wholesome family fun.

The game looks great, has great ideas, and is genuinely the best farming game I have ever played. @ me all you want.

4.

The 80's are almost fetishized nowadays. Given all the property reboots, games that go for the vibe and aesthetic of the time, etc. It almost seems as though the eighties vibe train ain't gonna stop rolling any time soon. But we owe it to ourselves to remember the first big swipe of madcap neon-colored actiony B-movie bullshit and how mind-meltingly epic it was. Ladies, Gents, and whatever else, I present:

Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon

Blood Dragon's story is relatively simple, you play Sargent Rex "Power" Colt (A name said in full so many times I thought his last name was "Powercolt" for the longest time), a former "Omega force" cyborg. Rex and his friend "Spider" were sent into a secret island base to investigate the supposed defection and treachery of their old commander, Ike Sloan. It turns out he has gone rogue and taken an army of "Mark 5" Omegaforce cyber-soldiers with him. What follows is a long story of betrayal, science fiction of the highest nonsensical level, comedy, and brilliantly cathartic action.

The collectibles range from data on animals, to research notes from a scientist, to literal VHS cassette tapes that have full descriptions of movies that I would legitimately watch if I could. "You may now kill the brides" is not a real film and I am angry for every day that that is true. Anyway, play Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon, I dunno if it's on PS4 but it's one game I'd buy a new/old console for.

3.

A lot of superhero games NEED to railroad you. Your goals MUST be to save the lives of the people and help the weak and all that. But one dev asked the simple question: "What if it didn't?" "What if the player chose how to use their power? What if the player could be as evil or as good as they damn well pleased?" One game gave you the powers of thunder and lightning and asked what you'd do with it. It's sequel asked you the same, but against more... interesting forces.

InFamous 2

InFamous 2 is a game about making choices, just like the first one, also just like the first one, it can have an effect on gameplay. That effect went from "What does this particular power do in this allignment?" To "Which new set of NEW powers would you like?" The forces of the last game went from “Three flavors of gun-toting whackos” To “Possibly an allegory for the Klan, Swamp monsters, and Ice-powered super soldiers.”

This was, and still is, the best game in the whole series, The powers felt distinct from anything else and still do, the story is solid as a rock, and the enemy types were still varied enough to be interesting, I miss the Reapers from the first game, but that's about it. Everything else was a massive step up. If you have something that can run it, play it.

2.

Action is something I think we can all appreciate on some level. We can understand when it does or does not work, we can understand when we do or do not like how it feels when we are the ones partaking in it. EX: Any schlep can tell you when the weapons in your game lack impact, or when your character moves too slow for the game to be fun. The following game is something I can't say anything of the sort about. And it's kind of like Wolfenstein, when you have enemies this bad, who the hell cares how many you kill?

Doom 2016

Y'all are lying if you say you didn't expect this one. It's DOOM 2016. This game is made of hate and fuck. AND I LOVE IT. You move so fast, you may as well be half cheetah and half sports car. You slaughter the dregs of hell by the dozens and even the biggest, baddest things this game throws at you can be beaten with the starting pistol if you have the stones for it. It looks amazing graphically, the demons all look appropriately threatening, and even the Multiplayer is a great deal of fun in my book.

Something worth noting: The story presented by default is pretty barebones, but that's where supplementary material fills in the gaps, the difference between supplementary material in most games and supplementary material here is the material is till IN THE GAME. You're free to ignore most of the plot as it happens around you, and even interesting tidbits of the lore like how certain demons function. Not only are these things missable collectibles, prompting continued play to find them, they are also pretty interesting reads. So yeah, just about everything you could want in a sequel/remake, builds the on lore and gameplay very organically. 

1.

And here we are, the last game I'd put in this category. An entire decade, and here, we end on the last game that left such an impact I'd put it in my top ten. But first, let's talk about expectations and delivery: When you say a game is coming out, there are certain expectations you have for gameplay, EX: I say "Ratchet and Clank" and you expect a TPS with platforming elements and crazy guns. I say "Gears of War" and people expect something to do with lumbering about in big armor, dismembering things with a chainsaw gun and otherwise shooting them to paste. We might also expect changes to things, better graphics, innovations in grenade variety, something as that franchise goes on.

After the last game in this series was released, there were tons of people who felt let down and disappointed by it. Then they released the still somewhat disappointing special edition of it. They were both still fun, but neither really felt like the full next step in the series. After a failed reboot, they returned to the original story and the lot of us rejoiced. And when it finally came out? It was a step up in most, if not, all regards, to its predecessors. You know what this last one is. Please, give a warm round of applause to:

Devil May Cry 5

A game that was not only a return to form, but a major escalation in gameplay for one character, and a new style of gameplay all together by way of yet another new character. It didn’t exactly hurt that the story kicked ten kinds of ass and that the game looked spectacular in both the design of everything and the actual graphical fidelity.DMC 5 is, like DOOM, Like InFamous 2, Like [PROTOTYPE] 2, everything you want in a good sequel. It built very well on already solid foundations and it was generally just a fun, slightly goofy, massively stylish, and ultra badass ride. I recommend this, and all these games, to anyone.Good night everyone, have a great 2020. And the rest of the decade, for that matter. 

[mrs-dragneel-stark-solo]

Unforseen Chasm (part 37)

Part 37 of Unforseen Chasm

Prompt: Two sisters fall for men that are absolute enemies. The love they have could tear all of them apart, or it could bring them together. Word Count: 2041 Warnings: Language, fighting,sad moment, ANGST!!!!!! the angst gets me sad so you know its good lol song for this part: Better- Betty Who Note: This is by far the longest thing I’ve ever written (including my other fic series). first major Collab with my best friend @thorne93​​ what was first a simple “what if” moment turned into a two year writing session and I’ve never been more prouder of myself than when i started my first series. goes through most of the MCU plots there are some changes to accommodate for what we wanted and there is a bit of a crossover between the MCU and other characters. I hope you guys enjoy reading this just as much as I enjoyed writing it.

As soon as Shannon’s parents left, you and Shannon head to the apartment. 

Once you’re there, memory lane hit you like a semi-truck. You took a look around the apartment you two purchased what seems like lifetimes ago. Your eyes traveled over pictures of you two graduating, the first day Shannon took a job with Stark, your first patent in physics… Pictures and paintings you two had bought together, that super comfy blanket you found at the mall… Every little item was a new memory. 

“Wow. I forgot just how good we were at decorating,” you said in a sort of amused, awe inspired tone. 

“Yeah, with your color palette and my great knack for finding unique items, this place really looked great,” she agreed. 

Next, you wanted to see your bedroom. You wondered if it would be exactly as you remembered it. 

When you opened the door, you were stunned to find it was. All the brainwashing and time away couldn’t even change that. The black and purple comforter was still on your bed. Your walls were covered with your favorite movie posters and whiteboards. The dresser was covered in papers and pictures of years past. 

“I had your bed sheets washed periodically,” Shannon suddenly said from behind you. You turned to face her.

“Ah, yeah, thank you.” You tucked your hair behind your ear and looked around. You went to your closet, surprised at how many bright colors were in there. Now, you mainly opted for black, red, green, and purple. “I don’t even know what to take… Actually…” an idea struck in your mind. “Shannon, you said that I could have this apartment, right?” 

“Of course, Y/N. There’s not much else I can do with it. I mean this is our home.” She waved her hands around the place. “I think it’d be more suited if you had it, it’s all paid off so no need to worry about much there.” She smiled knowing her friend would stay close to her even if it wasn’t a floor away. 

You chewed your lip, hoping this didn’t sound awful. “Well… instead of me taking stuff back to the cell -- because I’d really like to stay out of it, and making it feel like home feels awful -- what if… well what if you took some of your stuff back to the tower, with Tony? I mean, you’re engaged now, and Loki and I would like a place all to our own. I’m sure he’d want to go get some things… What do you think? I mean, I don’t wanna sound like I’m kicking you and your stuff out…” 

“Um… yeah sure I can probably get Stevie to help me pack my things and have it out in a few days,” she said trying not to sound hurt. “Well I guess I leave you to it then, I’ll be in my old room collecting my things.” 

Shannon walked out of the room slumping her shoulders a bit. She knew it was childish to feel hurt because she’s not living with her bestie/sister. But it hurt knowing she no longer had a place in their home. She entered her room and was flooded with emotions and memories of when it had been just the two of them here. Shooting a quick text to Steve, she got to work placing her things in her suitcases.  

Seeing your best friend this hurt made you feel worse than when you two were physically fighting in New York. You sighed and went into her room and sat on her bed.

“You know… you don’t have to just rip all your stuff out of here,” you said, looking up at her. You took the sweater she had in her hands from her gently. “What if… we did this? Loki and I will share a bedroom, we don’t need the second. You’re welcome to stay here any time, as long as you call ahead? Just to make sure you know… it’s a good time? This was your home for years, and I don’t want you to feel like I’m booting you out.” You reached over and gripped her hand, smiling up at her. 

Shannon had been concentrating on packing so she wouldn't let the little tear slip out. She looked up at the ceiling and then at you. “It’s okay, Y/N. I get it, you want a place to create new memories with Loki.” She stopped packing and sat down next to you. “I shouldn’t have assumed everything would be like before everything happened.” She went on to say how she understands that you’re both different people and that’s fine because you two are adults. 

The rest of the day was just you two talking and remembering things that were once forgotten and after eating dinner together and watching some movies like old times, Shannon excused herself for a moment.  She headed to her room and made a call to the tower.

“Hey babe, I’m still at the apartment with Y/N. I just wanted to let you know that we’ll be home soon and that she’s decided that she would like to live here in the apartment with Loki once he gets out too.”

“You had me worried for a moment. I thought you were going to say that you two will be staying the night there.” 

“And what if we had decided that huh? We’re adults plus I figured she wouldn’t want to sleep away from him.” She walked around looking at all the things she had left in her room. “I was wondering if you could have someone come help her redecorate the place to their liking?”

There was silence on the line. “If that’s what you really want then sure we can have that done once he gets out of the cell too.”

“I’ll see you at home soon enough.”

“See you here.”

With that Shannon went back to the living room. And they finished watching the last movie they had picked. 

You turned your head to Shannon lazily on the couch as the movie started to end. It was one both  of you had seen at least twenty times. “This has been the best possible day for me being released.”

“Yeah?” Shannon asked, happy to hear that.

“Of course. I became your maid of honor, we went wedding dress shopping, we went out to that great lunch spot, I got to see Lucky, and Diane and Tom… You and I got to spend the whole day together…” 

“Yeah, yeah it was nice, wasn’t it?” 

“Mhm. And I’m sorry about the whole apartment thing,” you apologized again. “It’s just…”

Shannon held up her hand. “I get it. You and Loki have never been alone. This is a place for you to start your lives together. Tony and I have the whole tower, and I have my old floor. If you and I need time away together, we can do it on my old floor.”

“You’re sure?” you asked, still worried you’d hurt her feelings.

“I’m positive, hun.”

At that, you smiled. As soon as the movie ended, the two of you picked up all the food and plates you’d accumulated during the day and cleaned the apartment. 

“Well, I better get back to Loki before he thinks I’ve abandoned him.” 

She laughed. “No, we wouldn’t want that.” 

--------------

Back at the tower, you and Shannon parted ways, bidding each other goodnight while she went upstairs to Tony and you ventured downstairs to Loki. 

As soon as your eyes landed on him, your chest filled with warmth, then a bit of chagrin when you remembered where you two were. You walked up to the cell door, put your hand on the scanner, and entered. 

“Hi, darling,” you greeted as you walked into the living room. It was odd, to say the least, having the freedom to come or go as you please in this place. “Happy to see me back?”

“I am,” he admitted to you. “How was your day out?” he asked, putting his book down.

“It was… a little overwhelming, but overall it was great.”

“Did they give you any stipulations or anything like that?” 

You got up and headed to the kitchen, readying to make some coffee for yourself. “Uh, actually, yeah. I have a parole officer. I have to report to him a few times a week, work with him… you know…” you said, dancing around the topic. 

“That sounds stressful.”

“Actually, my parole officer couldn’t be more laid back,” you assured. 

“Oh? Is that so? Well that’s good then.”

“He can have a bit of a temper,” you added with a bit of a smirk. 

“Well just stay on the right side of that,” he encouraged as he reached around you to grab a mug and pour himself some coffee. 

“Yeah, I think I can. We’ll be working in his lab. He wants me for my physics brain so…”

“Oh, he’s a scientist? I thought on Midgard they had officers dedicated to this sort of thing?” 

You slowly nodded. “Well.. Yeah, they do. But I’m sort of a special case. A normal cop can’t exactly control me if I get out of hand so--”

“Is your parole officer Bruce Banner?” he asked point blank suddenly, cutting you off.

Shit.

You pressed your lips into a thin line and that was all the answer he needed. A man as clever and witty as Loki would of course see through the thin veil of truth you’d weaved.

“Yes… he is but--”

“Are you serious? They stuck you with that animal?” 

“Bruce is not an animal,” you calmly retorted.

“I beg to differ, or do you not remember the broken ribs and mangled face I acquired last time we met?” he demanded.

“I do, but… my love, we kind of… we brought that on ourselves, did we not?” 

“I want you to demand someone else,” he ordered. “I don’t want you working with him.”

You stared at him in disbelief. “Loki, I’m not going to do that. Bruce is highly respected in my field and if this goes well, he could really get me back in. A foot in the door doesn’t even begin to explain just how much working with him would fatten my resume. I could work for virtually any company.”

“I don’t care. You would be willing to work with the man who nearly killed me? Your career means more than my life?” 

A bitch face clouded your expression. “Now, Loki, that isn’t fair. I’m not choosing one or the other. As long as you don’t piss him off, he won’t do it again.”

“Ah, right, don’t raise his blood pressure or we could all die. It’s amazing to me how I’m the one in a cell when he’s the one that can’t be around loud noises or he could kill hundreds of people because he got shocked.” 

“He can’t help turning into a monster but--”

Loki stared at you. “But what, darling? Go ahead and finish that sentence. Let me guess: but I can? Is that where you were going with that?” 

You stared at him, your face even. “No,” was all you said to him. 

“This is amazing. You’re out of this cell for less than twenty-four hours and you’ve already turned on me.”

“Turned on you? I came back to you. I came back to this cell, which I fucking hate by the way, just to be with you, to spend the night with you.”

“Well who asked you to do that?” he asked with a cold smile. “Please, don’t let me burden you,” he coldly replied before walking into the bedroom and slamming the door behind him. 

On that note, you let out a huge sigh. Well, what to do now… 

You went into the office and tapped on the tablet, pulling up your only contact and calling it. After three rings she picked up. 

“Hey,” you greeted, not hiding your sadness.

“Hey, hun. What’s up?”

“Can I come up?” 

“Sure thing… I’ll meet you on my old floor, yeah?”

You nodded and ended the video call. Leaving the cell for the second time today, but no intention of returning in your mind this time.

Unforseen Chasm Tag list- @reigningqueenofwords​ @oldfreakything​ @weclassygirl​ @adefectivedetective​ @dontbetooobvious​

Tag list- @cas-you-assbutt-dean-needs-you​ @winchester-writes​ @winchesterenthusiast​ @georgialouisea​ @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog​   @sammysbuttcheek​ @misz-adrii​ @sandlee44​ @womanxofletters​ @natsuccs​ @childishhoebinoo​ @expecteddifferent​ @girl-next-door-writes​ @fanaticfanfiction​ @dakotapaigelove​ @sassy-spn-knight-of-hell​

[blapisblogs]

What the fuck are you all looking at?!

Uh, anyway, after Doug’s horrible mangling of two Pink Floyd songs to be about his “haters” rather than actually commenting on The Wall, we cut to Corey Taylor (I bet you almost forgot he was here, didn’t you) shuffling his feet in a subway. He’s stopped by a group of people behind him, none of which look at him as they sing a parody of “Bring the Boys Back Home” (a song obviously about how the loved ones of those who went to fight in the war want to, well, bring them home). If you’re familiar with the album or the film, then you know that song is definitely not what follows after “Waiting for the Worms” (or “Stop”), as it comes well before that (before “Comfortably Numb”). Once again, Doug isn’t following the right sequence of events for the film or even the album in this “review” for the sake of more jokes. In that part of the film it’s made more clear what the album was trying to convey: in the midst of a mental breakdown after completing his “wall”, Pink has a fantasy/flashback sequence regarding his childhood and having to grow up during the last few years of World War 2 and its aftermath. So Doug’s parodying another song talking about World War II and the people affected by it and using it to make more petty, shallow complaints. Real classy. So what is this parody song about?

Complaining that the film is too long.

Are you. Fucking. Serious.

Saying a film is too long usually wouldn’t be too bad of a criticism by itself, but The Wall’s run time is an hour and thirty-five minutes. For comparison’s sake, there’s three animated films I’ve liveblogged on here before (Rio, Rio 2, and Moana) that are all longer than that. In an era where multiple blockbusters push themselves close to or past the two hour mark (and for some the three hour mark), an hour and thirty-five minutes seems quite quaint by comparison. I know that most everyone else who’s criticized this “review” has pointed out that Doug Walker himself made To Boldly Flee, a three-and-a-half-hour miniseries/movie (meaning you could watch The Wall twice and it’d take up less time than watching To Boldly Flee) and/or that the run-time for this “review” could (and should) be significantly shorter if he weren’t making such a spectacle of himself, but I’d like to add that Fantasia, one of Doug Walker’s favorite films, is Disney’s longest animated film by far, clocking in at over two hours long. Doug Walker’s favorite Disney film and two of his own films are longer than The Wall. I know I’m getting wordy here and if someone wants to read everything I’m saying it’d take a while, but that’s because I have a lot to say about this, whereas for a majority of this video Doug Walker has said nothing of real substance.

[...So here’s where I’d usually put this under a cut, but this song’s so short that I’m not even gonna bother.]

Bring the run time down An hour ten’s more sound

[The last film I liveblogged on here (the 1933 Invisible Man) is roughly about that length, and you know what one of my criticisms of it is? That it’s a bit too short and a slightly longer run time could’ve been used to add a little more depth to the characters. Just putting that out there.]

Don’t run the viewer’s patience into the ground

[Take your own advice for once, Doug.]

You’re not Oscar-bound

[They weren’t trying to make an award-winning film; they were just trying to make a film. Period. Not every film is blatantly aiming to win awards, stop insisting that they are.]

(???) watch (???)

[I really am trying my best with this, but seriously, what the fuck are you all saying here? Do any of you know what you’re actually saying anymore? Are these even real words anymore? Why did I do this to myself?!]

All of your moping is not really that profound

[Once again calling someone talking about their serious emotional damage “moping”. How tasteful and original and not something we already heard from you repeatedly twenty minutes ago. (That was sarcasm, by the way.)]

Bring the run time down

[You know, I said this is a short song, but I think it’s somehow longer than the one that it’s parodying. It certainly feels like it anyway.]

[dustward]

Might as well get this out now so I can close the figurative book on this whole ordeal until I open up the actual books up and start to read those. This last season sure was a mess, huh? I’m willing to give a pass on the first half of the season but that second half is just. A mess.

Let’s get the obvious bit out of the way - like so many others, not buying Daenerys’ turn to evil. I could see the core idea in “this is the part were George subverts our expectations that the one who will succeed and rule at the end is anything but benevolent, despite what we were led to believe for the longest time.” I’m sure There’ll be some subtle shift in the books, or at least there’s the hope, right? The idea’s kinda not great, but it could’ve been sold under different circumstances, with different writers. You don’t make a change like that at the last possible second and expect everyone to just go along with it, even if you talk through one of the characters to try and justify your writing. To me, it felt like the writers were actively tearing her down every chance they could because Dany somehow wronged them between seasons 7 and 8. She wasn’t even one of my favs so there’s no bias here when I say this - the writers failed, in so many ways.

Already said my peace with Jamie in having made a small rewrite about his arc the other day. Not amused with how mangled his story got thanks to this final season rush. Brienne suffered some collateral damage here (why’d she abandon Sansa exactly??), and Cersei.. oof. Another wasted character. The core idea I think I’m seeing here is how it would take someone even crueler and more vicious to take her down, and sure under the right circumstances we could’ve been led to believe that whole tangent with Dany being The One, but they failed to set it up so... that angle falls apart along with any faith that Cersei would get a proper ending, living or dead. How about those prophesies eh?

Euron doesn’t belong here and they should’ve given his parts to Bronn, or had Bronn do what my rewrite suggested. Bronn’s just another wasted character this season.

Cleganebowl was.. whatever. It looked cool I guess, but I would’ve preferred Sandor walked away from his revenge, same as Arya. I find it hard to believe Gendry hadn’t picked up on Arya not wanting to be A Lady, making that whole exchange feel wrong too. Arya herself was one of the few characters able to avoid the drawbacks of rushed writing. Mostly. I don’t buy that she’d go all the way up and into a collapsing keep before deciding to abandon the idea. But that’s more of a small hangup compared to all the other problems those last episodes suffered.

Poor Jon, relegated to “muh queen” “i dun wannNt it” until it was time to do a sad and watch another love of his life die in his arms. Played out a little too similar to the last girl he loved, didn’t it? Dude had no agency and lost any will of his own as soon as the whitewalkers were dead. I.. don’t buy that, either.

Sansa’s character was pretty intact if not elevated the tiniest bit by the end. I don’t buy the friction AFTER the battle with the whitewalkers though. There should’ve been some manner of camaraderie by that point.

Needed more Gilly. At least as much as there was Samwell. Samwell was.. whatever, neutral feelings toward how his role played out. Podrick’s was whatever. Seemed like his character just went on a big unnecessary circle but at least he lived to tell the tale? Shrug. Dude needed dialogue.

Good on you Davos, perfect ending. Would’ve liked another scene or two before we got to the council showing, but that could be said for literally every other character. They should’ve had the episode end after Jon did a stab and had the last episode be The Epilogue, as boring as that might’ve been to the masses, I would’ve appreciated it.

Happy for Tormund and Ghost, and I guess happier they got their best friend Jon back up North with them.

Grey Worm, another one of the few characters who didn’t lose themselves to the rushed writing. His arc was probably the most satisfying overall without feeling like it needed additional/modified scenes. Good luck honoring the love of your life, dude. Let Dany’s good deeds continue to make waves in the world.

Tyrion.. hard to say with that one. I grew to like him more and more as time went on, but then his potential was wasted in the last couple seasons, but he got a nice ending, probably one of the most fitting and coherent to his arc? That is, if you ignore anything he did in the last three episodes because I really wanna ignore the period after the Battle of Winterfell ~ the burning of King’s Landing. Varys’ character was another casualty of rushed plot. Same with Missandei. Hope Drogon’s doing well.

The fact that Yara didn’t ask for independence along with any of the other kingdoms makes it hard to buy the ending at all. Gonna assume this is another one of the many, many, MANY things the book will address properly. Because yeesh.

Not missing anyone important, am I..? Oh, the king, right. Bran Stark, literally does nothing and becomes king. Okay, he said a couple things to a couple particular people, which given his supposed foresight makes it seem like he WANTED KING’S LANDING TO BURN and for his brother to kill Dany. Is that really Bran with the best poker face ever or is The Three-Eyed Raven a more sinister character than we could’ve imagined? It’s really hard to believe this is a good ending and the failure to elaborate on so many details before rolling credits was just the last in a series of missteps that led us here.

Will make sure to avoid anything those writers touch ever again. Maybe I should pretend those last three episodes never happened until the books are released, if ever. First time an ending burned me so badly. I’m sure it won’t be the last.

It’s funny, because my favorites were Arya and Davos, and they essentially survived this trainwreck unscathed. Guess I can be happy about that.. I guess.

[sonnetsoncanvas]

I posted 33 times in 2021

29 posts created (88%)

4 posts reblogged (12%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.1 posts.

I added 65 tags in 2021

#sirius black - 11 posts

#johnlock - 8 posts

#the darkling - 7 posts

#marauders - 6 posts

#darklina - 6 posts

#wolfstar - 6 posts

#kaz x inej - 6 posts

#angst - 5 posts

#draco malfoy - 5 posts

#loki - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 91 characters

#this was an actual conversation between remus and sirius and you cant convince me otherwise

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

How dare you tell me I'm not a responsible adult?!

just because I slept for 15 hours and woke up only to shove some cereal into my mouth straight out of the box, doesn't mean I'm irresponsible

I prefer the phrase "living on the edge"

79 notes • Posted 2021-07-28 11:14:21 GMT

#4

I am not romantic person,

seriously, I'm not. I don't want grand romantic gestures and flowers on my doorstep.....

what I crave is intimacy, physical and mental intimacy. I want someone to know me. my comfort food, my favorite show, how I liked to be touched, where I liked to be kissed.

because trust me, once you find someone like that, flowers and chocolates wont matter...... your life together would be one enormous romantic gesture

79 notes • Posted 2021-06-16 10:42:31 GMT

#3

I have a very clear equation with my siblings and/or best friend

it is, "bitch, you either help me bury this body or it will be yours I will be burying next."

81 notes • Posted 2021-07-07 11:05:41 GMT

#2

She looked at him with tears in her eyes,

And at once he knew, she was more broken than he realized.

The pain she embodied mangled his heart as if a snare

And yet he vowed to love her broken pieces like a drowning man loves air .

103 notes • Posted 2021-10-18 10:27:37 GMT

#1

A normal day at Hogwarts.

MCgonagall:you did good work on your transfiguration homework, Mr. Black.

Sirius: Thanks, mom.

utter silence in the classroom

Sirius: why is everyone staring at me?

Peter: you just called professor Mcgonagall mom. you just said 'thanks, mom' ."

Sirius: No, I did not! I said thanks ma'am.

Mcgonagall: Do you view me as a mother figure, Mr. Black?

Sirius: (sweating) noooooo, I view you as a bother figure because you're always bothering me.

Remus: Hey! show your Mother some respect.

Sirius: I DIDN'T CALL HER MOM!

James: It's not a big deal, I called Lily mom once, and she's my girlfriend.

Sirius: Guys, jump on that! James has psycho-sexual issues.

Lily: old news. but you calling professor mommy.....

Sirius: Hey, Mommy is not on the table here.

Snape: But you did call her Mom, Black.

Sirius: you shut up. you've done nothing but lie since the class started.

Snape: Alright, I lied about you copying lupin's work, but the Mom thing happened.

Sirius: AHA! He confessed! He admitted his accusation was a lie. It was all a lie. A part of my crazy, devious plan.

Mcgonagall: I believe you.

Sirius: thank you...

Mcgonagall: Son. would you like to have some biscuits in my office?

Sirius: (quiety) I would like that.

173 notes • Posted 2021-12-06 10:38:15 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[empirelead-a]

@firelxrdsdaughter replied to your post: “Do you have any arcs planned out or already in the works for your...”:

I would seriously love to know what the arcs are tho PLS TELL ME

Since you did asked me nicely for this then I am glad enough to talk about this even further; plus, I do enjoy talking about Kuvira in general because not only is she currently my longest running muse, but her character as a whole has interested me from the start when she first came up on the screen. She had so much going on for her and the potential was obviously right there, but it was a shame her character got overlooked and her story was never touched upon further. But, at the same time, I have to say I am grateful because I get to play around with my ideas without the disappointment that would come with the creators. I even do have arcs for Kuvira that stemmed back from her younger years, like before Suyin took her in but that is something I wouldn’t want to go over just yet; I’ll save that for another time. Instead, my entire focus will be on the aftermath of the finale.

Let’s begin because you might be in for a long ride…

One of the things I would love to do definitely takes place right after Kuvira failed to take the city and was ultimately defeated by the Avatar and her friends. Of course, she did willingly gave up when she had a long talk in the Spirit World with Korra but that still doesn’t mean she was at all happy. In fact, she would be quite far from it--she was angry at the others, at the world leaders because - let’s be honest - they’re partially responsible as well, but most of all, she was angry at herself for allowing herself go this far. Just remember that Kuvira never planned on becoming a dictator, once upon a time she was genuinely a good woman. It didn’t really helped at the fact that the prison guards didn’t made her stay any easier and often enough reminded her defeat, goading her to do something terrible. Most of all, the worst part about prison is not at the fact that she lacked any visitors (the only person who sees her is Korra), it’s the fact that she is cut away from the earth; everything in her prison cell feels so cold, empty, and lifeless. It’s completely dead just like her spirit. So this arc would will be about Kuvira’s time out.

The next part I would do will take place around three to five years later, and after some therapy, Kuvira is finally allowed to be release from prison all thanks to Korra due to good behavior and the fact that a talent like hers shouldn’t be wasted. Though, this does not mean Kuvira is a free woman just yet, In exchange to be out of prison, she has been subjected to work for the United Republic doing hard labor work which is something she took without question; anything is better than prison and being in a box, cut off from the world and the very element that defines you. Of course, she has been kept and under close watch by several United Forces soldiers who took the job to keep a close eye on her; the world leaders don’t exactly trust her yet, afraid that she’ll try to rise back up into power which never happened. Those days for her are long over. Around five years later, Kuvira would soon get into an accident where she nearly lost her life after saving a couple people’s lives by former enemies who attempted to take her life but it came with a great cost. Her life was saved, but her arm ended up getting mangled by a giant building piece which complete crushed her arm. She ended up staying in bed for a couple of months while she was recovering and figuring out what’s going to happen to her, is she going to go back to prison? No, at the end, Kuvira ended up getting a prosthetic arm made out of metal. And the most interesting part to this is that the outer layer is made out of platinum so no other metalbender could use that against her, but the interior is made out of iron and other bendable metal which Kuvira uses it to her advantage. 

The next part would take place ten years later where Kuvira’s labor work finally ended and she’s fully a pardoned woman. But there’s still a certain sadness residing in her heart and her life still felt empty to the point where she think that being not-so free sounded better, so she ended up cutting herself off from the public’s eye to wander around the world and looking at the places she goes to in a new perspective, trying to find a place for herself in this world. And at this timeline, she became spiritual thanks to Korra’s help and teaching her about meditation and how to work on her anger better. Plus, Kuvira would totes have a new hairdo, just imagine her with short hair.

If you’re wondering about her relationship with the Beifongs, in my interpretation is that they will all eventually forgive her. Baatar being the first one, after all he was the one who designed her prosthetic arm in the first place; no one else is smart enough to come up with that. Of course, it was difficult from the beginning before they made up and all, he has every right to be angry with her and hate her as well, going on to ignore her for a while. But that’s difficult to do at someone you love very much, and I say they didn’t get back together until Kuvira is done with her spiritual journey which would take up at least a year or two because she ended up going into the Spirit World and met with our favorite tea-loving uncle. 

As for the other Beifongs, it took time but each and every one of them eventually welcomed her back. I can see Baatar Sr. and Huan being the second people to forgive her, the third people are the twins who can’t exactly stay mad at forever because they have fond memories playing power disc with her. It took some time for Opal to welcome her back and it did involved lots of tears and yelling, but she can’t forget the very woman who she saw as an older sister. FINALLY, there’s Su who’s - no surprise, no surprise - the most difficult woman ever. Similar to Opal, there was a lot of yelling and crying and maybe Kuvira earning a bit of a slap to the face, but at this point, Su’s an old woman now who can’t stay angry forever. This doesn’t mean she’s ready to fully forgive her just yet, but welcoming her back at the very least and offering her another chance is a good start.

I really hope what I have in mind for Kuvira’s future was satisfying. It is still a work in progress and like I said some of these things I have mentioned might change. For now, this is what I am hoping for we’ll get in the canon comics or something pretty similar. One can hope even though you have no confidence for Mike’s writing whatsoever.

[epersonae]

This has been informally known as the “Mavis and Angus Fix Everything” fic in the WDA discord. It might also be called “epersonae yells at @magcretia about Another Beach Year” because that’s basically how it got started. It ended as the the longest thing I’ve written so far, even though it just covers a couple of days, and mostly a single evening.

Some almost equally long liner notes below the cut....

So this started with two things:

The very first line just sort of popped into my head when @magcretia was helping me work through some writer’s block about something else entirely. Originally, I thought I might use it for an Extreme Teen Adventures fic, so I just dropped it into my doc of random little ideas.

But then not very long after, she was in the discord talking about Another Beach Year and how she thought of something that could make it worse, and everyone (@blue-mood-blue, @emi--rose, and @weatheredlaw for sure) started piling on with more and more angst and I just kinda snapped? And was like: ANGUS AND MAVIS FIX EVERYTHING. [and now I’m trying to remember if I’d already written that first silly little scene where Merle is about to get lost in the woods? Anyway.] Because jeez, these grownups just keep getting deeper and deeper into their own drama, and what about the children?

Which, to start with: how old are Angus and Mavis? In one of several things that I just lifted entirely from Another Beach Year (which, btw, is excellent and you should be reading it), this is set approximately three years after story and song, which makes Angus about 13 or 14, and Mavis 14 or 15. So less children, and more early teens. For sure old enough to be picking up on all the drama going on with the adults around them, and to think maybe they can do something about it.

Speaking of grabbing ideas from other people:

First, this whole damn thing is basically a dialogue with Kath’s post-canon work. It’s perennially interesting to me how we’re working in more or less the same space, and because we focus on different aspects and have different narrative styles, we end up in slightly different places. This one has a lot of little details that I’ve more or less yoinked intact from Sizzled Out and For Old Time’s Sake; I might not even know what all of them are?!

Additionally, there was a long discussion in the WDA some months back about a Parent Trap AU with Angus and Fischer in the roles of the kids and Magnus and Lucretia in the roles of the parents. I think there’s a bit of that in here, tbqh, although I didn’t realize it until I was well underway.

Initially, I was thinking of this story as a stand-alone fic separate from my post-canon continuity, but as I went along it made sense to integrate bits of that, and at some point I realized it was set at a very specific point, which is to say right after Back in the Zone.

And in that continuity, I’m pretty certain that Lucretia and Taako don’t really reconcile until Magnus dies. So it couldn’t be “Angus and Mavis fix everything”, so what do they fix? Well: Polyblaster 4Lyfe plus all the Kraagnus I’ve been writing lately means clearing up things between Magnus and Taako, and baby!Magcretia means that it’s all directly related to Angus and his parentage. Which led to: Mavis persuades Angus to try to get his dads to be cool with each other again.

And oh yeah: writing about how much or how little these two young teenagers understand of the goddamn complicated web of relationships? Honestly was one of the most fun things I’ve gotten to write. (“Uncle Magnus likes Kravitz okay?” I die.) Angus saying “I don’t know why they have to be so complicated.” HOOBOY KID, us too. Plus for the hell of it I gave Mavis basically the WDA reaction to Magcretia: she thinks it’s adorable.

I also put a lot of thought into what the characters call each other, especially what the kids call the adults. Per canon, Mavis calls everyone Aunt and Uncle except for Davenport (WINK); I also have her interchangeably refer to Merle by his name, as “Dad”, and as “Pop”, just as they felt right. (This may or may not be true to canon; don’t @ me.) In a previous fic, I asked the crew what Angus would call Taako if Magnus were his father, and the consensus was “Mister Taako,” so I stuck to that here. Similarly, Merle is “Mister Merle” and Lup is “Miss Lup”, with still a lot of “sir” and “ma’am”. By this point, he generally consistently refers to Magnus as Dad and Lucretia as Mom, although there’s often extra ums and uhs around that, because he’s still feeling his way through it himself. Kravitz is just his name, nothing else.

At first I thought this fic was going to be spread out over a much longer stretch of time: I even had a bit of an idea for something way off in the future expanding on something that gets a couple of sentences in Remember. But it ended up coalescing into this single evening: Angus and Kravitz and Taako and Magnus going to Fantasy Olive Garden in an undetermined location while Mavis and Lucretia and Lup go to Chesney’s for karaoke night.

Sooooo, my favorite “Taako finally uses that FOG pass” fic is actually a 10000% nsfw Kraagnus, so that adds to the weird emotional whiplash in my own brain at least. 

On top of that, when I first had the idea, I thought “jeez I’ve done this already, should I?”, with Angus trying to get Taako and Lucretia to talk: then I realized that could actually be part of the fic itself. Angus has a Way of Dealing with Conflict, and it involves making people talk over food. And man, this dialogue just kinda happened? (Thanks Kath for encouraging me to give Kravitz’s mic drop a little room around it. And bless Griffin for having Angus say “horseshit” in canon.)

I’m very proud of the chunk of dialogue that got this reaction, by the way:

As for the karaoke: this summer I discovered two things: Sweet Dreams by the Eurythmics is absolutely a Relic-hunting song, and it’s also absolutely my go-to karaoke song. So that was obviously Lucretia’s song. Then, as usual, I asked the gang for opinions. The consensus was that Mavis was going to be amazing at karaoke, and when Kath mentioned 4 Non Blondes What’s Up as being her song, I went to have a listen. (Dang that song was everywhere when I was 18.) And it just fit. When blue mentioned singing “a song about killing a man”, I had to ask, and when that turned out to be Goodbye Earl, we all started joking about Goodbye Merle, and yup, absolutely a duet of Mavis and Lup to give Merle a heart attack. Kath also suggested Alone by Heart, and since I know I want to write a Lupcretia follow-up, that fit nicely as well. Bonus song: I love the Bond movie Goldeneye, and Minnie Driver mangling the hell out of Stand By Your Man seemed like a nice touch for some bad karaoke.

Have a playlist.

It was nice, really, to just let the gals have fun while the guys worked out their issues. Which turns out to be “Taako on the art of apologizing without apologizing” after Kravitz cuts through all the equivocating and bullshit.

I took a couple of stabs at an ending before it really solidified, and AGAIN, suggestion from Kath for both Angus and Mavis to have some separate resolution with an adult, who I realized had to be Merle for both. He’s very Dad in this, and in my fic he’s also tried to do what they want to do and has a lot of sympathy. 

I actually wrote the scene with the kids on the roof before either of the two scenes right before it, but even with the additional conversations it didn’t feel like a good resolution, whereas ending with Merle somehow did. (Catch me adding a tiny glimpse of Davenchurch!) I know it’s not “all better”, but I feel like I’m moving towards that “happy ending they all deserve” with this one, which is something I really want to do.

[stargleeksil-blog]

Criminal Minds s01e22 The Fisher King Part 1 season 1 finale review

Episode 22 – The Fisher King Part 1

Okay, so we’re at the finale of season 1! Wow, that was quick! (At least for me) And I can honestly say I am beyond pumped for the next 11. I have no idea what Fisher King means except for the pretty bird that is named that, but I really have no fucking clue what goes on here.

Let’s see what happens.

Ok, that house is creepy. Just saying.

A mangled male hand running over a sleeping girl’s body, not creepy at all … I think … I mean, why can’t they show us who it is?

Frack, he has a knife.

Why did they cut automatically to the BAU? That is some serious teasing.

Morgan is taking Elle to a resort? No! He should be taking Penelope! No! someone boink this guy over the head.

“Trust me when I tell you it is off the hook. Hot sunny days, cool breezes at night, never-ending tropical drinks with the little umbrellas, and nothing but young, beautiful adults looking to make vacation memories.” Ooh, he should run ads for resorts, cuz mama I am hooked!

Why are you calling him pretty boy? I mean, he is pretty, but why are you teasing Spencer like that baby? Not nice.

Wow. Reid was oddly cryptic about going home. Is something not right? I’m intrigued.

Yay! Aaron is going home, and he is happy about chores? Oh no.

Hahahahahahaha oh my god Gideon just made my entire day and I’m only 02:02 minutes into the show. He’s going to an abandoned cabin in the woods and wants them to not call him. And he’s serious about! He said it twice!

Wow. I love the carvings! Both metal and wood are so elaborate, I’m so impressed.

Okay, now we’re going into medieval paintings that literally freak me out. What?

And why does that freak have pictures of my superheroes?

Why is he whispering? He freaks me out. Ugh.

Oh my god, why is he tying that girl to the bed? Ugh.

Whoa. She just had a major freakout.

Oh my god this is gonna be epic!!!!! And possibly the longest review of the season, guys. Beware.

And Kirsten still isn’t a regular? What the fuck is wrong with these people?

Elbert Hubbard: “No man needs a vacation so much as the man who has just had one.” WORD!!! I had a few days off during Rosh Hashana and when I came back to work I was so disoriented I was like, dude, I need a vacation.

And oh my god, the resort Derek told Elle about is in Jamaica? Wow. He has some good friends, man.

God that water is gorgeous. No wonder the Caribbean is such a touristy spot. I mean, I prefer dirty cities with winds and snows and rain, but I get it.

And oh my god, those are some fresh young hotties. I’m talking of course about Elle and Derek in bathing suits. Holy shit. That is the hottest sight ever.

I’m usually not one for tattoos, but oh my god Shemar’s body is a monument of hotness. Fuck. I want to lick those abs so much.

Wait. Hold the presses. And I can’t believe I’m saying this because I am currently watching scenes of Shemar shirtless and I am the last woman to ever complain about that, but is Jane fucking Lynch in this episode? As what exactly? Yay!!! I’m happy.

Now let’s go back to drooling over Shemar’s flawless delicious succulent chocolate planes.

Lord, Shemar flirting is just illegal. Fuck. Oh my goodness.

Holy shit! I love that guy!!!!! The guy flirting with Elle, oh my god I know him, I have no fucking idea what his name is, but he is one hot specimen, and I love this episode so much for giving me so much eye candy. Yay!

Aw, homey Aaron! So cute! Oh my god, Aaron was pirate number four in Pirates of Penzance hahaha I’m loving this so much.

Wait. Gideon can cook? Oh my god, that is so amazing! He’s making something very fancy, he’s making fucking garlic bread and he has a wine bottle ready to be popped. I want to marry you, Gideon. But obviously you have a lady friend coming over, for whom you are so diligently preparing this delicious meal, so I’ll let you get back to it.

Aww!!!! How does Penelope Garcia spend her weekend off? Gaming! Oh my god, this episode just turned into one of my favorites, holy shit.

“Why can’t guys in the real world be like that?” I agree, Penelope.

“He is not fictional. He is the online alter ego of a real person.” I love you, peaches.

“Look, we meet online at specified times that he is never late to. We spend hours adventuring and chatting during which time I have his undivided attention and he lavishes me with flattery. When’s the last time you had a date go that well?” “See if he’s got a fictional brother, all right?” oh JJ, you are precious.

Wait. No way! Jane Lynch is Spencer’s mom who is locked up in a nuthouse in Nevada? Oh my poor pretty boy, I love you so much.

So she’s very well-educated, yet schizophrenic, and Spencer sends her daily handwritten letters? Oh my god, I just fell in love with his character all over again.

Whoa, she’s a professor for fifteenth century literature? Oh my god, her character is so amazing. I love literature from that era and I just can’t believe how amazing this show is.

So he came all the way and can’t face her? Oh baby.

Oh hot damn, that dancing scene is hot hot hot! Elle looks so happy! I love her! Oh shit, Derek sweaty and dancing is too hot.

Oh shit. I’m getting so turned on here hahaha

Aww Aaron and Hayley met when he stumbled into the theatre department and joined the theatre group just to be with her! Oh my god he is the most romantic guy ever and I love him!

Aww it’s so nice to see Gideon so in love! It’s just such a contrast and I love it.

Okay, I never thought I’d see post-coital Hotchner and it is doing things to me. Seriously.

And who the fuck calls in the middle of the night?

First victims? It’s the whisperer from the beginning ugh.

The youngest holds the key? You must help him save her? What the fuck?

Why is the resort manager getting an anonymous call in the middle of the night that requires him to call the cops? I’m so confused here. Oh they reported a murder in a room? Oh damn.

Wait. Someone hacked into Penelope’s laptop? That doesn’t seem right. What the fuck? What does “All Work No Play” mean here?

Game over? What? Oh hell now!

Someone hacked into the FBI tech analyst computers? Oh no.

Wait, they’re now haunting Gideon too? Oh goodness me.

Whoa, those are blood stains on the walls.

He’s been delivered a package? That’s seriously frightening.

“Save her.” Save who?

Oh shit! That’s a fucking head! That’s a fuckin human head! What the fuck?

Hey! Hey! Whoa!!!!! Why are they attacking Elle? And why are they arresting her? What the fuck is going on here?

I love you Elle! I love you so much! And you, Mr. Jamaica PD detective, are seriously not doing yourself any favors pissing off a woman you just dragged out of bed in the middle of the night.

“Where’s the victim’s head?” “Well, I must have dropped it on my way in here, come on!” haha I love you. “I’m here on vacation, man!”

What the fuck? It’s always the same phrase. What the fuck is going on here?

Frank Giles. Got it.

Oh hell, Derek breaking down doors, yummy.

Whoa, Penelope just went apeshit on the computer systems, I love you so much baby but tone it down, okay?

“You just wait till I’m through with you!” oh shit, I’ve never seen her mad.

Did she just tell Morgan no?

“The information super highway is closed.” Uh oh.

“Someone had the nerve to run a blackhat op into my computers, Morgan. They hacked me, ok? But you can bet your sweet ass I will find them. I’ve got honey pot farms hidden behind uml kernel data packets and a first generation honeynet I personally programmed. My snort logs list every visitor, every server request, every keystroke on this entire network. If I have to back-hack his IP all the way to the frickin’ stone age, I will find this son of a bitch, ok? So bye.” Oh my god, I love you Penelope, you are my goddess.

Oh my god Morgan’s confused face is everything.

So the head Gideon got belongs to the body that was found in Jamaica with Elle and Morgan? Damn.

Thank goodness Hotchner is here.

A dead butterfly? What?

So this guy is a complete psycho? Oh god.

Oh god, this is absolutely dreadful.

Oh honey, she used the wireless internet and he got into her laptop oh dear lord, the poor thing.

Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me. Is that a sword sticking out of ohis fucking chest? Shit. And that’s Frank Giles. Oh my goodness.

“Here thy quest doth truly begin” oh my god.

Shit.

“To learn of what should next be done, leave the blade ‘til the hour be none.” What the actual fuck?

Hey Reid! I love you, but you poor puppy.

“Reid, do not go away ever again.” I love you too, Elle.

Yup, this is totally Indiana Jones, except that you need to find the fucking killer not the fucking treasure. Unless those two aren’t mutually exclusive.

Ooh yeah, now Reid gets to use his key.

Oh kay? This is creepy. Why the fuck does he give them a music box as a clue.

“Never would it be night, but always clear day to any man’s sight.” What the fuck does that even mean?

What? A DVD with a girl’s lock of hair tied to it? God, this guy is sick to the bone.

Okay, so that guy creeps me out to no end. And the rules of the game are that they cannot use outside help beyond the original seven? Well, that is really helpful, dick.

What the fuck? He sent someone to Hotch’s place? And he could’ve hurt Hayley and Jack! What?!

What the fuck does that piece of paper mean? What, is it like the whole word-line-page numbers form a book? Oh lord. This is gonna be a heavy one.

Why did Gideon have JJ talk to the press if the guy clearly told them not to go to anyone? Oh boy. He’s playing with fire.

Oh my goodness, groggy Elle is the cutest thing ever! She’s so adorable!

Didn’t Hotch tell that agent to escort her home? Why is Elle alone there?

Oh shit! He’s in her house! Oh my god.

SERIOUSLY? They’re gonna stop the last episode of the fucking season on a cliff hanger where you see someone pointing a gun at Elle, the screen goes black and you hear a gunshot? YOU FUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love you so much, but what the fuck are they doing to all of my feelings?????

I know I should be writing my opinions on the season, but I’m so caught up that, with your permission, I’m going to just put this here and hurry on to the first episode of season 2, ok? See ya.

[js2-hetalia]

Can’t believe it’s been a whole damn year since I created Hetalia Tomodachi Life. So I thought I’d make a little list of things that happened in the game that made me laugh, or get mad, or something. (Warning: it’s long!)

1. China is a dirty old man who pursues young women. Especially Nyo!Russia. He went after her at least a dozen times before she got married. Then he just started picking random girls left and right. For those familiar with Vinesauce Tomodachi Life, he’s basically Karl, except he actually gets the girl a couple of times, only to break up. His boy charm score typically sits at the -200 mark.

2. Denmark has been my best friend since the very beginning. Early on, everybody on the island, including us, shipped us together and wanted us to go out. I, the look-alike, wanted none of that, and foiled every single attempt. I got so mad that I made a song about it. But anyway, HTL Denmark is even cuter than canon Denmark. If I had to besties with anyone, I’m glad it’s him.

3. Estonia was a typical school nerd (still is) and Spain, the “baddest of the Bad Friends,” was his bully. Nowadays, the two get along fairly well, even making an agreement to leave their past behind them.

4. Nyo!Macau, a character with no canon personality whatsoever, actually wound up as one of my favorite characters. After I gave her the Meadow interior, I thought to myself that it kinda looked like the standard Windows 7 (?) desktop. Combined with her voice, I got it in my head that she was the personification of Windows, so I changed her name to that. Later, she started dating Ladonia. Fitting, since he’s the Internet future boy. But she’s WAY older than him. So then I got it in my mind that she was an old cougar. So. Her name’s now pronounced “the old cougar,” although one of her phrases is still “Error,” a leftover from her Windows days.

5. Austria had a jester phase. Seriously. I even made the game pronounce it “Jestria” for a time. Basically, I gave him a jester outfit and he just kept wearing it all the time. I eventually got sick of it and made him wear women’s clothes and other ridiculous outfits, which he still does to this day.

6. Nyo!New Zealand is all white. Empty white interior, white-painted hair, and only white clothes. It is white on white on white. I honestly can’t remember why I started doing that, but I did, and I will not stop until I have given her every white hat and outfit that I can possibly give her. Somehow she still hasn’t made it up to the top of my most pampered list.

7. Sealand is permanently known in my head as “Piss Stain.” There was this one time when he had a fight with New Zealand. He was wearing an all-yellow outfit (a body suit, I think), and I thought to myself, wow, he looks like a piss stain amidst all this white. Ta-da! Piss Stain. I think it fits his canon bratty personality, too. I can see England calling him that.

8. Rome x Liechtenstein is a thing. And they are boring as fuck, despite all odds. They don’t do anything of interest, and so far, they’re the ones who have had my least favorite baby by far. And they’re showing no signs of breaking up anytime soon. Fuck. At least Nyo!Russia x Finland was interesting, even if they pissed me off for reasons I don’t know.

9. Oh by the way, Nyo!Russia is married to Nyo!Belarus. HUZZAH!!! Now have a fucking kid already.

10. Fart Voice Bulgaria. I don’t know. I gave him the lowest-pitched but also squeakiest and, well, fartiest voice I could. I ran with it. I also love fucking around with how the game pronounces things in his voice, making his angry phrase nothing but a string of euro signs. It just sounds like “Yurururururuurururururu.” It’s hilarious. He has a son with a voice that’s just as glorious. I made a song about it. Bulgaria is proud of Nathan’s voice and likes to show it off. Nathan himself is ashamed.

11. Nyo!Germany and Romano were the first couple to get married and have a baby. Their first baby was all right. Nothing too exciting. Their second baby was a tree-hugging hippie.

12. France is called “Daddy.” It was a stupid joke. But one of the news clips made it amazing. The news about how a burger with a random-food ingredient completely fails, and it’s at the restaurant called “Big [islander name]’s.” It randomly picked France’s name, so the restaurant’s name is pronounced “Big Daddy’s.” It was so glorious I had to make his full name Francois “Big Daddy” Bonnefoy.

13. Luxembourg was given the catchphrase “High-claas!” That is not a typo or misspell. I accidentally typed “claas” instead of “class” and I liked how it sounded, so I kept it. lol

14. Nyo!Iceland is a wannabe fish. (Or a mermaid. But I like “wannabe fish” more.) She has the Seabed apartment and her worried phrase is “Time to spawn!” because I’m a weird fucker like that.

15. Somehow Japan always raised his hand to the really dirty Quirky Questions. Nice to know, dude...

16. EGYPT IS BORING AS FUCK GOOD GOD. I don’t like any coupling with him in it. Seriously considering deleting him even though he’s a mainstay. Also, I figured out a way to make him say “...” without the game pronouncing it as anything (normally it says “dot”). There’s period marks in the Greek keyboard. Those will stay silent. All of his phrases are “...”

17. Nyo!South Korea is also known as “That Bitch” with a trademark sign. Thing is, the game actually says “trademark sign” in her catchphrase. It’s soooo good. Plus, her best friend is Nyo!Poland, a catty girl herself. They’re absolutely perfect alpha bitches together. Her husband Australia was likewise given the catchphrase “She’s MY bitch!” They had two beautiful children.

18. Nyo!Spain is a teacher who’s hot for at least one of her students, and has no qualms about asking them out.

19. Spain and Nyo!New Zealand make the CUTEST babies. Too bad I have a strict two-per-couple limit. Also that they, uh, divorced. (Their son, Elijah, is a wannabe supervillain. Or is he just a wannabe...?)

20. There are two Carters. That’s Seychelles and Hong Kong’s son. The first one is forever stuck as a traveler on This Damn Island (who even streetpasses around here). The second one was recreated and lives on the island, but has a love for travel.

21. Winter is still the funniest character by virtue of how out of place he is.

22. For the longest time, I just typed the characters’ names and let the game try to pronounce them, and just run with it. (Now I actually try to get the game to pronounce them as correctly as it can.) This is especially hilarious when listening to the game mangle Finland’s or Chris’s (Russwe) last names. But even some of the simpler-seeming names get mispronounced - Natasha, notably, gets pronounced as “NAT-uh-shuh” without further fixing.

23. I made sure Nyo!Latvia’s name got as many A’s tacked on to the end as I could. It’s still funny.

24. Greece started life as a furry. Now he’s not, at least not openly. I remember calling him into his apartment when he was in a good mood, and as I’m searching through the menu, he says “Let’s get laid!” and I completely lost it. I did NOT remember giving him that phrase. The other great phrase of his is “Fuck Sadik!!1!” which he pronounces as “fuck SAD-ik exclamation point one.” It’s hilarious in his slow, monotone, dead voice.

25. Switzerland is another character whose voice is hilariously out of character for him. It’s high-pitched and the pitch curves upward at the end of his sentences. He’s still as pissy as he is in canon, with phrases like “GET OUT!!!” and “I’ll shoot!” This combination makes him one of my favorite islanders.

26. For whatever stupid reason, I gave Liechtenstein surfer dude slang for phrases. She also lives in the Ring (like, a boxing/wrestling ring) apartment. Maybe it’s just me, but Liechtenstein is my favorite character to make out-of-character.

27. Serenity, born to Japan and Nyo!Norway, is by far my favorite baby. Owen, Chris, Elijah, Alyssa, Sophie, and Nathan are really good, too. The HTL babies are my OC’s and I will cherish them. Don’t know if I’ll make fics with them or not...

28. Nyo!Lithuania is known as “Heartbreaker.” Why? Because she divorced Denmark on Valentine’s Day, and she’s only been dumping guys ever since. Although she has hung on to Romania for a while now...

29. Finland is known as “That Finnish Ass-Hall” (can’t say “asshole” in the game). I hated him for dating Nyo!Russia and being extremely persistent about marrying her. I don’t even know why I hated them so much, I just did. He still has his phrase “Fukk off, Yao!” from the days when he was chasing after her booty.

30. Nyo!Canada used to have the phrase “Please, Daddy...” because she dated France (”Daddy”) for a while. I’ve since changed it because it was weird, plus she’s married to Turkey, but I might change it back...

31. I originally planned for Nyo!Ukraine to be a total friendless loser, even giving him the phrase “I’m a loser.” Mostly because of my headcanon that he just has no confidence in relationships. Except, he made a lot of friends really fast, and it was Ripper, Nyo!France, and Monaco who were the friendless losers for the longest time.

32. Italy is living in the haunted mansion interior. For reasons.

33. I’ve noticed that in Judgment Bay, characters tend to form the same groups over and over again, and I’ve made some songs out of the results, such as “Slaughter Planet Earth” (all three Italy brothers, Australia, Nyo!Lithuania, America, Nyo!Prussia) and “Just You and I Here” (America and Nyo!South Korea, and later Owen).

34. Oh, yeah. There was that series I did with Egypt and Sweden where the lyrics to all the songs were just “..........................................” and “mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.” One of the songs crashes every time lmao.

And that’s all I have for now. Damn, I invested a lot into this game.